Birthday Party Ritual

This ritual is ceremonially performed at the Sasona Birthday Party in early July (or whenever the hell we get around to it). It was written by Matthew Bey ca. 2006. It's performed by the newest member and the senior-most member, with some audience participation from everyone. At the end of the ceremony is the disemboweling of the Bread Man effigy of David Buttross.

The ritual describes that the Bread Man has nickels for eyes to symbolize our nemesis Nickel City Co-op, a cracker as a mouth for Wade Dawg, and it also historically had a jelly heart to dip the bread in. In 2007, the Bread Man was about two and a half feet long. In 2008, Wade Dawg tried to drunkenly fornicate with the Bread Man. In 2010, the Bread Man had a 2 foot tall cylindrical dong.

PDF: Birthday Party Bread Man Ritual.pdf

Bread Man Ritual

Sasona Creation Myth Ceremony Q&A

newest resident: why is it that we gather tonight?

eldest resident: we celebrate our co-op passing into our hands.

newest resident: why do we party?

eldest resident: we salute the sasoonies who came before. for the friends who left too soon, and the enemies who stayed too long. for the members who wigged out and left, and the ones who stayed in their rooms and never talked to anyone.

newest resident: why does the bread-man have nickel eyes?

eldest resident: the nickels represent nipply city, our nemesis co-op.

newest resident: why do we hate nickel city? surely they don't deserve it?

eldest resident: yes they do. they're fuckers.


newest resident: why does the bread-man have a cracker for a mouth?

eldest resident: we save the cracker for wade dawg.

newest resident: who is wade dawg?

eldest resident: we will never tell you.

newest resident: who does this bread-man represent?

eldest resident: the bread-man is david buttross, the realtor who sold us this house and fronted us the money.

newest resident: why do we make david buttross out of tasty bread?

eldest resident: to honor him for selling us this property.

newest resident: why do we devour david buttross?

eldest resident: because he's a fucker who screwed us on the zoning and on the mortgage.


(everyone grabs a part of the david buttross effigy and tears it limb from limb)

SasonaWiki: BirthdayPartyRitual (last edited 2011-07-22 00:34:43 by Parker)